Fifteen Years Later

You know how in movies and books, sometimes you get the line that says something like “6 months later,” or “3 years later?” Sometimes that’s how life feels. It’s like yesterday, we were dealing with the loss of our grandparents, other family members and friends, and some major life changes, and then the screen went black and the words “Fifteen years later” popped up.

Fifteen Years. How is that even possible? Life moves forward whether we want it to or not. Fifteen years ago seems like yesterday and yet a lifetime ago all at the same time.

If you’ve followed this blog for long, or if you’ve been friends with me on Facebook, you’ve heard the story of my sister-in-law, Morgan. Morgan passed away 15 years ago today after a battle with cancer. You can find the links to previous posts below.

If you knew Morgan, she had a way of drawing people in. The outcasts, those who didn’t fit in with others. She made them belong. Her faith was so strong. She knew where she was going, but that wasn’t enough. In her life, she shared her faith with others, and even in her death, her story reaches others.

Not All Sunshine and Rainbows

Physical and Occupational Therapy: This week, I was able to get up to 2 miles in about eleven minutes on the indoor bike. To my athlete friends, this may not seem like much, but it was a new record for me since the accident and something to celebrate. I haven’t added more weight since last…

Keep reading

by Cindy Flynn October 5, 2021October 10, 2021

Time Marches On

Even in great loss, there is hope. Even in death, we have hope that we will see them again in Heaven. If there is anything I’ve learned in life, it’s that winter doesn’t last forever, and in even in the darkest of winters, there is beauty. #collateralbeauty

Keep reading

by Cindy Flynn January 18, 2019January 18, 2023

You can also see just a small glimpse of who Morgan was here:

My family went through a lot before losing Morgan, and then we’ve been through a lot since then. I think sometimes God allows things to come in waves, because if it came all at once, we couldn’t survive it. It would just be too much to bear. So much sorrow, so much loss, and so many changes.

And yet. Yet there is hope, joy, peace. We aren’t victims of awful situations, we are survivors, fighters, warriors. I remember Morgan not because I can’t let go of the past, but because she will always be a part of my life. Her life helped shape my own. Fifteen years later, I can look back and say time has changed us, all of us, myself included. We’ve grown older, learn to live a new normal, and grown stronger. I can say I am a better person for what I’ve been through. More understanding, stronger.

If there’s anything I’ve learned over the past 15 years, it’s that even great sorrow, there is joy. Even in suffering, there is peace and hope. God has a plan in all of this. We are all part of a much larger story.

Today we remember, and it hurts. But there is also hope, joy and peace. 15 years ago wasn’t a goodbye. It was just “see you later.” As Romans Chapter 8 talks about, what we have faced these past couple of decades is nothing in comparison to what is coming. God is working all of the circumstances, from the accident, to the troubles we’ve faced, the losses we’ve had, and yes, even the loss of Morgan, for our good.

As a Christian, I have faith that I will see Morgan again, as well as my grandparents and others who have gone before me. Every day, we get a little closer to that day. Fifteen years have come and gone so very quickly, and I imagine another fifteen will go by just as quickly. Life is too short to dwell on what was.

Fifteen years ago, life changed. Sometimes it feels like we woke up, and suddenly things had fast forwarded 15 years. Other times, it feels like this all happened last night. Fifteen years is so small in comparison with eternity. One day, we will live happily ever after. And until that day, it’s not goodbye. It’s “See you in the morning.”

The song we closed out Morgan’s funeral with:

Until next time,

Cindy

Oct 5

Not All Sunshine and Rainbows

Physical and Occupational Therapy:

This week, I was able to get up to 2 miles in about eleven minutes on the indoor bike. To my athlete friends, this may not seem like much, but it was a new record for me since the accident and something to celebrate. I haven’t added more weight since last week (I’m still at 40-75 lbs) but am trying to do more repetitions with each machine I use.

I have been trying to walk at least a mile a day. This week, I made it out to Hartwick Pines after an appointment, as well as a marina in Petoskey and Deadman’s Hill. I’ve really made it a goal to hike somewhere after every appointment I have, and most of the time, I do. This week was packed with appointments, but I managed to squeeze in a few hikes.

Surgery Update:

It looks like I will be having surgery in early November to repair some of the internal damage from the accident. My abdominal wall was nearly destroyed in the accident, and my liver and colon had to be stitched, so there is still some work to do. Hopefully the surgery will go well, and recovery should be about 2 to 3 weeks.

Adventures This Week:

A gallery of some of the photos from this week, taken at Hartwick Pines, Deadman’s Hill, a Marina near Petoskey, and a few other places in North-West Lower Michigan:

Fall is in the air!

When I took photos this past week, we weren’t in full color yet but getting close. I love this time of year! The colors are so bright and cheery! A gallery of color:

Not All Sunshine and Rainbows

I try hard to keep a positive attitude about things, but this doesn’t mean I don’t have bad days. This was a week with several days where I was late for appointments because it was just one thing after another. I overslept one day, got stuck behind a construction vehicle another day, and stepped in dog poop a couple of times on my way to places. I always leave extra time, but it just wasn’t enough some days.

I also discovered I can’t use a video-teller or drive-up ATM machine, at least not with my left wrist. It just won’t turn over enough. I have a hard time in drive-throughs too, such as at fast food places. I have moments when I get really frustrated, but I try to allow myself to feel the frustration and work through it. I’m learning to live with a new normal. Hopefully I will get more and more of my left side back , but there are no guarantees, and when you’ve lived certain ways most of your life, it takes time to adjust to something different.

We also spent part of an afternoon in the emergency room again for Ben. He has a toe with what the doctor says is a blood blister. It looks very much like it did the last time it developed an infection, so we are keeping a close eye on it. With Ben’s Peripheral Neuropathy, he checks his feet regularly anyways as he has no feeling in them.

Today (October 10) is also the birthday of my sister-in-law, Morgan who passed away several years ago. I wrote about that loss, as well as several others here:

Time Marches On

Today is both a sad and happy day, bittersweet. Sad that we have had all of this time without her, but happy that she is living her forever in Heaven. Happy Birthday in Heaven Morgan!

If I’ve learned anything in my lifetime so far, it’s this; even in loss and in pain, there is happiness and joy. Even in the darkest of moments, there is light. My faith plays a big roll in getting me through all of the things I’ve been through. It’s knowing that I will see loved ones again, knowing that anything that happens to me here on earth is just a blink of an eye, that helps me get through even the toughest of days. Philippians 4:13 has stood out to me time and time again during this journey, and is something I keep going back to when life gets really tough.

Songs on Repeat:

I’ve always loved music. Throughout the week, I often find myself playing certain songs on repeat. This varies by week, although I have a few that I tend to play often. This week’s songs include:

Goodness of God- Bethel Music

Graves Into Gardens- Brandon Lake/ Elevation Worship

The Stand- Hillsong

Say I Won’t – MercyMe

Life has this way of throwing unexpected curves at us. Sometimes those curves take us to unexpected places. Sometimes we find ourselves in the most amazing moments, and in the next breath, in the most horrific moments. Life may not be all sunshine and rainbows. But it is still good.

Until next time,

Cindy

Jan 18

Time Marches On

Eleven years. How is it even possible that eleven years have gone by since Morgan went home?

(This was written in 2019, so if you are reading this after that, it will have been more than eleven years.)

For anyone who doesn’t know, Morgan was my sister-in-law who passed away from cancer eleven years ago today.

Time goes on, despite the losses we face, the hard times we come across and the journey life takes us on. This day brings back a lot of memories. both good and bad.

Before Morgan’s passing, we lost my grandparents, several uncles, an aunt, and family friends. Death and loss have always been a part of our lives. You get used to that person being gone, get used to a new normal to some extent, but there is always that person-shaped hole in your life. My family talks about those who have gone before us often, not because we can’t let go, but because they left such an impact on our lives that they will never be forgotten.

Time marches on. People have gotten married, babies have been born, we’ve gotten jobs and bought houses and gotten college degrees. There has been more loss, more death and pain in the last eleven years too. But the past, and the people we’ve lost helped to make us who we are today. We’re stronger, as a family and as individuals.