It’s been awhile since I’ve given an update. I’ve been super busy with therapies, and started outpatient therapy several weeks ago. I go several days a week to physical and occupational therapy, and also get medical massage and trauma massage therapies. Between these appointments and everything else, it keeps me busy!
I have continued to make progress, and am now sometimes able to walk without a cane. I have to be careful I don’t lose my balance, but I’m gaining more strength and mobility each day. I am also making progress with my wrists. The right one is stronger, and almost back to “normal.” The left is still pretty weak, and we are working on getting a better rotation with it.
As part of my physical therapy, I walk 8-10 times or more a day. Often, I head to our backyard and have been able to see quite a few birds this season so far. My current list includes:
Mourning Dove
Rose-breasted Grosbeak (male)
American Redstart (female)
American Robin
Common Grackle
Common Raven
American Crow
Killdeer
Black-capped Chickadee
Downy Woodpecker
Northern Flicker
Northern Catbird
Blue jay
Ring-billed gull
American Goldfinch
Baltimore Oriole
Chipping Sparrow
House Sparrow
Swallow (Couldn’t identify which type)
Warbler (Couldn’t identify which one, but it was mostly yellow)
I know there are some I am missing, but we are getting quite a variety this year. Ben also found something that many people like to think of as a bird, but it’s really a mammal. See the photos below.
I have a fear of bats, but at the same time, we know they are really good for the environment, so as long as they are living outside. They get a bad rap for carrying diseases and more, but they are really important to the eco system so I’m glad Ben was able to save this one.
I will do my best to keep this blog updated better. Facebook has not been wanting to allow me to share nature photos and posts lately anyways. Apparently nature goes against community standards. So, I will be using other media to share photos and updates more frequently.
First the updates on physical therapy and occupuational therapy:
Occupational Therapy:
I have continued to make improvements. Sometimes it feels very small, but they add up and my left wrist has come so very far!
February 26th
Today
Physical Therapy:
Today I got the all clear to begin walking with a cane. As I transition from the walker to a cane, I will be going back and forth between the two, depending on my pain and energy level that day. I have made a lot of progress in a short time, but I’m also listening to my body, and some days, I just need to take a break.
Songs:
From my mom….
Others to focus on…
Bible Verses:
From my mom…
Others to focus on…
On Collateral Beauty and Joy
I came across a #speaklife post on TobyMac’s Facebook page today that really stood out to me. You can find it here:
This quote really stood out to me. In December, my life changed forever. Certainly, I never would have thought I’d be facing so many injuries and challenges in the days ahead so quickly. But this is the story I’m in. This is what I’ve living day to day. Yet there is much joy among these challenges, even among the pain.
I’ve been thinking about the movie Collateral Beauty. It came out in 2016, staring Will Smith and Keira Knightley. Ben and I saw it in the theater. One thing that really stood out to me in this movie is the idea that even in great pain, there is beauty. The movie refers to this as “Collateral Beauty.” Collateral has several definitions, but one of them is defined as additional but subordinate; secondary. Secondary beauty. Beauty that wasn’t first choice, or something you even wanted to have happen, but beauty nonetheless.
Near the end of the movie, one of the characters says “Just make sure you notice the Collateral Beauty.” Since watching this movie, I’ve thought about the phrase ‘Collateral Beauty’ often. Collateral beauty involves the little things people do and say in the really tough times, like sending care packages and kind messages. It’s a butterfly flittering across the grass and into the sky the day after a storm has come through, and a neighbor helping someone clean up their yard when a tree falls. Sure, we might prefer that the accident never happen, the storm never come or the tree never fall, but there is so much beauty, so much good that can come of it.
If I had a choice in all of this, I would have chosen to not be in a wreck in the first place. That would have been best case scenario in my mind at least, to be whole and not broken from a wreck. But if this was the case, I wouldn’t have had all the good things in between, the kind words, the care packages, meals, and so many other ways people have helped out. Honestly, there has been more “Collateral Beauty” in all of this, than there ever would have been beauty had I been able to choose not to be in an accident. I think the more difficult the experience, the more beauty can be found. Don’t get me wrong. It doesn’t mean any of this has been easy or that I don’t have days that are rough. But even in that, there is beauty.
With finding that beauty, comes joy. Joy isn’t just about being happy. It is both a verb and a noun, so while it means ‘a feeling of great pleasure and happiness,’ it is also a verb meaning ‘rejoice.’ Looking for collateral beauty in our darkest moments can help us to find joy. We can rejoice, or show great delight even in tough situations because we see the beauty that is there too.
My faith helps me a lot in this. As a Christian, I believe that everything happens for a reason, and that God can and will work all things together for our good, even the bad things. The good isn’t always easy to see though. In dark moments, when the world seems so unfair and so very tough, it’s hard to look for the good. It’s hard to find joy in the Collateral Beauty around us. Our world wasn’t meant to be this way. It isn’t how it was created to be, isn’t how things were supposed to be and we know it. Collateral Beauty is second beauty precisely because it isn’t how the world was created to be. It’s beauty despite what has gone wrong, joy even in the darkest of moments.
When God works things together for our good, sometimes we don’t see right away. Sometimes it’s years down the road that we realize how He took a situation and turned it for our good. Other times, we can see right away, but I think more often than not, especially in very difficult situations, it’s not until years down the line, or perhaps not even this side of Heaven that we understand how God worked things together for our good. But we don’t always need to understand something to see the beauty in it. Joy is all around us, even in the toughest of times. It’s a gift, this collateral beauty that surrounds even the darkest of times. Sometimes we just have to look for it, but the light that comes from joy and collateral beauty will always outshine the darkness.
My first day of home occupational therapy was yesterday, and first day of home physical therapy was today. My left side is so weak, and we have a lot of work to do. I have moments when I feel a little overwhelmed, and wonder if life will ever be the same again. I know it won’t be. It can’t be, with so much that has happened.
At the same time, I also know this doesn’t mean I’ll never walk right again, or that I’ll never use my left wrist. It just means I have to learn to do it again, and maybe differently. It’s a new normal, like so many other things in life have been.
Looking through my timeline and old photos, I see photos I’ve taken from journeys I’ve taken before, and it leaves me with a longing for more adventures. Adventures that right now, I’m not able to take yet, but in so many ways, my journey is an adventure all its own.
I look forward to the day when I can go out for a hike in the woods again, snowshoe, take photos of nature around me. I desperately wanted to write again, without using voice to text, and stand on the shores of Lake Michigan as the waves roll on. I’ll get there. It just takes time.
For now, I’m just trying to enjoy this journey as much as it can be enjoyed, and to photograph the adventures along the way. It’s the little things I want to remember, like Wesley moving his dog bed closer to me just so he can watch me sleep, Chewbacca trying very hard to stay close without hurting me, and my sweet husband taking the time to make sure my legs are propped just right.
This verse stood out to me during my hospital and rehab stay, and became something I quoted to myself during tough times. It was also in a coloring book a family friend gave me, and I realized yesterday that it’s on a plaque in our living room too. It’s the perfect reminder of where my strength comes from. My journey is far from over with, but I’ve come such a long way.
This journey isn’t one I would have chosen, and it’s not an easy one, but one day, maybe not too far off, I’ll stand of the shores of Lake Michigan again, and watch the waves roll in. I’ll hike through a forest and listen to the sound of birds in the trees, and I’ll finish the books I’ve been writing. And when I do, it will mean all that much more because I’ll know just how far I had to go to get there.
Today in occupational therapy, we practice with the Shower bench. We played several games, including Connect 4, Chinese Checkers, and Solitaire. We also played a couple of ball games where I had to put balls through a hoop and into baskets. I then stood up and we played the same game, adding a target for me to touch.
Physical Therapy:
Today I was able to walk 128 feet , 90 feet, and then 105 feet. We practiced getting in and out of a car, and practiced a bed roll as well.
Other:
Today was Family training day. Ben was able to come in, and we played games in OT together. He got training on how to get me in and out of bed, and use a shower bench. They also taught him how to get me in and out of a car safely with my hip restrictions.
In Occupational Therapy, we worked on getting dressed with the reacher and sock assistant. I was able to get a shower in, and we practiced sliding on the shower bench to get in, leaning back far enough to not break my restrictions. I will most likely be using a shower bench when I get home.
Physical Therapy:
In Physical Therapy, we practiced walking with the regular walker again. I walked 100 feet the first time, and 75 feet the second time. We practiced getting in and out of bed, including a higher bed, and practiced getting in and out of a car. We also practiced walking with the walker on a mat for a different type of surface and practiced going up on a board to simulate crossing over a threshold.
Other:
Today I enjoyed coloring in a coloring book, and continued to work with family on the plans for me to come home. This week is flying by, and there are still a few things to do before I hopefully get to head home!
I’ve discovered I actually like Sour Patch kids. My taste buds have changed over the last couple of months, to an extent.
Songs to Focus on:
From my mom….
Other songs to focus on…
Scripture to Focus on:
From my mom….
Other Scripture to focus on…
Movie Lines….
These movie lines have been standing out to me. After something like this, a person is never the same. And why should we be? Trauma changes you but it can make you stronger.
There is no going back. There is no returning to normal, only moving forward and finding a new normal. For events such as the accident I was in are not meant to send us back to who we were before. They are meant to change us, to help us grow and become stronger. It’s up to us to decide whether we will allow the trauma to change us for the better or worse.
You can’t be the same after something like this. Sure, you can return to a sense of normalcy, but it will never be the same. And it shouldn’t be.
Today in Occupational Therapy, we worked on putting socks on with a sock helper. It’s a special device that assists with putting on socks when you can’t bend down.
We also play Solitaire, with me standing for part of the time. My legs were pretty stiff with it being first thing in the morning, so I wasn’t able to stand long. In the afternoon, we played a game of Suduko, with the game propped up and weights on my wrist so I had to practice reaching while building my muscles.
Physical Therapy:
Today in Physical Therapy, we practiced walking with a non- platform Walker. I was able to walk 86 feet the first trip, then 90. We also practiced navigating the wheelchair through an obstacle course.
In the afternoon, I walked 90 feet, then we played a balancing game in which I stood with my feet apart and bounced a beach ball back to someone. My walker stayed in front of me and the wheelchair behind me on case i lost my balance, and the PT person stayed by my side. After a round of that, I put my feet together, and then for the 3rd round, we placed a foam board under my feet. This made it harder to balance and I had to grab the walker a few times to keep from falling. We finished the session with another 90 foot walk in which I tried to pick up the pace to see if I could go faster.
Other:
This morning, I was able to use the reacher to dress myself, all except socks and shoes. In between therapy sessions, I was able to work on this blog, practice wheeling myself around the room, and chat with Ben on what is needed for my return home.
Today i also enjoyed a visit from one of the harp players. The music they play is always so calm and peaceful, and I enjoy it a lot when they can come.
The reacher… a great tool for when you can’t bend down.
Today in occupational therapy worked on me getting dressed with the reacher. If you are not familiar with a reacher, it’s a special tool that allows people to do things for themselves when they otherwise couldn’t. I have a lot of restrictions with my total hip replacement, among them not being able to bend down for anything, so the reacher comes in really handy with picking things up and helping me to get dressed.
We played a card game with me standing up to practice my balance and strengthen my fingers. We also played a game in which I handed a bean bag from one hand to another through a loop, and then tossed it into a crate. We played a board game with dice, where you put numbers down based on the dice rolled, and we played Jenna.
Physical Therapy
Today in Physical Therapy, we practiced walking with the walker. I was able to walk 47 feet, and then 42 feet before needing to take a break. We then tried a walker without a platform. I was able to walk 75 feet all together, with several breaks.
We also practiced rolling out of bed with the log roll, and wheelchair mobility. I am able to operate the wheelchair fairly well with my arms.
Other:
If all goes well, I may be going home soon! It’s been a long road with a long road to go, but it would be nice to get back home.
Our pets will be very glad when I’m home. Chewbaca is really having a hard time without me there. Ben sent me a picture of him being all sad and clingy.
Songs to Focus On:
From my mom…
One of the churches we used to go did a skit with this song years ago…
Today was a day off from physical and occupational therapy. Other than practicing what I’ve been learning, it was a day to rest and relax. I was able to get some reading in, and relax for most of the day. I also got some much needed extra sleep in too.
Today in Occupational Therapy, we completed several different activities to help build my fine motor skills. We played a form of Chinese Checkers with blocks, completed an activity where you had to match pegs on a pegboard to pegs in a picture, and folded laundry. We also did the shower ring activity, where I move rings from one side of a looped pole to another, and practiced using the reacher to move beanbags and then pull up a pair of scrubs. We did everything without my braces on today.
The reacher looks like this…
Physical Therapy
Today in physical therapy, we practiced walking with the walker. We walked 25 feet the first time and 30 feet the second time, for 55 feet total.
We also practiced doing the log roll from the mat. During the second round of PT, I walked 30 feet and then 25 feet for another 55 feet. In all, I walked a total of 110 feet today.
Other:
Growing up, my parents always taught us “I can’t” is not part of our vocabulary. We could say something was hard, challenging, frustrating, difficult, etc. , but we were never allowed to say ” I can’t. “
I come from a family where my sister has a learning “disability,” I was born with a dislocated left hip, and some of our cousins have “disabilities” as well. We never really called them “disabilities”, they are different abilities. We are not disabled, we are able to do things differently than a “normal” person.
This attitude has really helped me a lot during this time. It’s weird being in a wheelchair, and I am still not able to move my quad muscle very well. Earlier, I set my left leg of the wheelchair leg rest to change positions. At first, I couldn’t lift it high enough to get it back on the leg rest without asking for help. I kept trying and eventually got it! It isn’t easy, it hurts, and it’s frustrating, but it felt so good once I had my leg back on the leg rest!
(Ignore the white flakes. This is what happens when every limb has a cast or brace for nearly two months…. my skin is just peeling off everywhere. I’m thankful for lotions from Bath Boutique Treats to help heal my skin! ) https://m.facebook.com/BathBoutiqueTreats
I’ve also been exhausted today, and slept every chance I got. It’s a lot of work for my body to do what it is doing right now!
I also got to order food from a supplemental menu. I still wasn’t able to eat much but it was nice to have something different.
Today in occupational therapy we practiced getting dressed. It is so nice to actually be able to stand up and put pants on. We did several assessments to look at my hand strength and assess my fine motor skills. We did a cognitive assessment and also worked on moving ball’s from one peg to another. The balls are hung on the pegs by rings, The goal is to slide them off one peg and up onto another one. We did this without my braces on to see how it would go. We also did a clothes pin activity, in which I moved clothes pins from one bar and put them on another. This was again done without braces. Overall I did pretty well but my left hand is definitely weaker than the right.
Physical Therapy
Today in physical therapy, we practiced walking more with the Walker. I was able to walk 20′ ,took a break, and then walked 25′! We also practiced wheelchair mobility and practiced using a log roll to get out of bed. I did well with all of it today.
Other:
All of the hard work I’m doing definitely makes me tired. I slept a little bit this afternoon and evening and will hopefully have another good night sleep tonight. It’s amazing how much work it is when your body hasn’t been able to walk in a while.
We also got a major snowstorm today. It was peaceful at times watching the snow fall, but also reminded me of the accident. I hope one day I can watch the snow fall again without being reminded of that day.
Tales From North Country 