How is it possible we haven’t blogged on here since April? Five months! This year has flown by, and it’s been a tough year for us. I last updated on some of the things we’ve been dealing with in my April post, here. Since then, more has happened, although we’ve had a few positive things along the way too.
A quick recap:
In May, we welcomed a new puppy to our family! She’s another basset hound.
In June, my Dad was hospitalized for eight days, and we had several things break down around the house. We did, however, manage to enjoy at least a little time outdoors and took a couple of road trips. We also took advantage of Farmer’s Market season, and I made some rhubarb muffins that we really enjoyed. Our puppy also mastered climbing the stairs in our home, but she couldn’t get back down. This meant our other basset could take her up and leave her when she needed a break.
In July, more things broke down around the house, and I ended up with an infected tooth. Ben’s health also continued to decline, and he’s had some of the worst pain yet from the neuropathy. We did manage to get in a few outdoors adventures, despite the hot summer we had.
In August, I had to have dental surgery to have the tooth removed, Ben’s health continued to decline and one of our basset hounds ended up with a double ear infection and a hot spot infection. Still, we managed to get some more outdoor adventures in, I went on a road trip with my parents, and Ben’s dad was able to come and help Ben fix some drainage issues we were having. Also, our puppy mastered coming down the stairs!
And now, here we are in September. We have no idea what the future holds, and I think the way this year has gone overall has left us holding our breaths, just waiting for the next challenging situation to hit. Some seasons are just so tough.
Ben’s Health:
I’ve mentioned that this hasn’t been a good year for Ben. The peripheral neuropathy (both large and small fiber) has moved into his hands and arms. He’s slowly losing the use of his hands and is in pain most of the time between his hands and feet. Whatever he has seems to be neurological, but despite going to U of M hospital and having testing sent to Mayo clinic, as well as seeing so many different specialists, trying various diets, and strategies, we have yet to find answers or anything that works for more than short period of time. Ben lives in pain most days, and this year, the pain has been especially challenging and difficult.
Cindy’s Health:
Overall, I’ve been doing pretty good, aside from the infected tooth. I’ve continued independent physical therapy, but not as often as I was doing it, and no in-person trainer sessions. For the first time since the accident, I was able to get some weeding done in the garden, and have been able to venture out a little further than previous years. I still have a lot of PTSD, and struggle with nightmares, flashbacks, and sometimes anxiety, but have strategies to help me cope. I am not who I was almost five years ago. How could I be?
But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I knew life on this earth could come to an end quickly before the accident happened, but it’s just that much more real now. By medical terms, I really shouldn’t be here, and sometimes that hits hard. I know there is a reason and a purpose for me being here though, and I’m thankful for the extra time I was given on this earth.
Collateral Beauty
We don’t know what the future holds. I keep thinking about 2 Corinthians 4:8-12 and how it talks about we are hard pressed on every side. This has been a year of feeling like we are being pressed from so many different sides. Yet, we are not crushed. There’s still a few months left in this year, and I hope things start to settle down. But no matter what the future holds, every single day is a gift. Even on the tough days, we try to soak in the sunrises and sunsets, take time to glance at the flowers and watch the butterflies go gently across the yard. I’ve written before about collateral beauty. This has been a year of collateral beauty, of finding the small moments of joy in so much pain and suffering.
Hopefully next year will be better, and I’ll get around to posting more too. It’s crazy how long it’s been! This post is getting long, and there’s so much more I could say, but really it all comes down to this: There is joy even in pain and suffering. There is beauty, even in the darkest of days. Sometimes, you just have to look for it.
Until next time,
Cindy
Tales From North Country 